09.14.06
the pressure of competing
Today is September 14th. I was so disappointed for losing track of the date early this morning. Maybe it was because my mind was so much pre-occupied with a lot of tasks to do in connection to the school activities. But anyway, being busy in school makes me feel important and productive.
I can’t get the thought of tomorrow off my mind. I always felt excited about attending the Rizal Youth Leadership Institute. Especially last year when it has brought me to a national competition in Baguio City. Although the pressure of competing was there, I felt especially glad being able to visit the Summer Capital of the country. Aside from the gift that God gave me on that event, I would always find and recall the reason to thank Him for the irreplaceable present He showered upon me during those days of my stay in Baguio - the gift of friendship. That was and is far more than the award and medal I received during that conference.
Today, here I am feeling the great amount of pressure again. Rarely do I attend seminars without having to compete. And that instance is always given. I have experienced this several times and so I have no choice but to accept the fact. I am going there again to bear the name of my school. It is not I alone who is competing. But it is I, with my institution.
Competition is a matter that I take seriously. I am not a greedy person who may always desire recognition and praise, nor am I a proud one who would not let anybody get above me. But I have always put in my mind that every time I compete for my school, I have to give and do whatever it takes. Maybe this is what others call sacrifice. Doing something great not for yourself, but for others. Competing without intention of winning? I can do that. I have won and lost several times and I am immune to both. But to be chosen as one of the few delegates to represent my school is a privilege I cannot take passively. I said yes. Now, I shall say go.
Winning, for me, is not a matter of landing as first, second nor third placer. It is being able to share what I know, what I care about and what I want to do in order to ignite the flame of courage in my fellow people’s hearts.
Winning is the sibling of bravery - possession of the brave soul to stand in front of the mass, absorb the shock, and swallow every heartbeat that goes out of the normal pulse rate.
Being an audience is too easy. When watching a contestant compete, we can easily criticize and degrade him or her. Maybe because some of us haven’t really experienced the pressure of being a contestant. But when the time that your turn comes, surely you will utter to yourself, "Iba kapag nandon ka na."
