05.27.07
Posted in Songs at 5:47 pm by erald17
Look at the sky tell me what do you see
Just close your eyes and describe it to me
The heavens are sparkling with starlight tonight
That’s what I see through your eyes
I see the heavens each time that you smile
I hear your heartbeat just go on for miles
And suddenly I know my life is worthwhile
That’s what I see through your eyes
Here in the night I see the sun
Here in the dark our two hearts are one
It’s out of our hands
We can’t stop what we have begun
And love just took me by surprise
Looking through your eyes
I look at myself and instead I see us
Whoever I am now it feels like enough
And I see a girl who is learning to trust
That’s who I see through your eyes
And there are some things we don’t know
Sometimes a heart just needs to go
And there is so much I’ll remember
Underneath the open sky with you forever…
LeAnn Rimes
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05.25.07
Posted in Womanhood at 11:25 pm by erald17
It’s no longer hard for me to imagine myself walking along the
aisle, wearing immaculately white gown, holding a bouquet of flowers, directing to the altar, awaiting the arms of my future groom.
One of every little girl’s fantasies is to have a fairy tale wedding, everything is perfectly decorated and the red carpet along where you stride leads to paradise. Every little girl dreams of a perfect wedding along with the perfect guy… whom she had waited all her life and has vowed to spend the rest of it with him.
Perfect wedding does not only come in form. It has to be taken with several considerations. On your wedding day, everything needs not to be perfect. But at least, everything has to be fine.
Aging only 18, I cannot help wondering what might be the kind of wedding existent by time that I would tie the knots. Perhaps different, perhaps just the same as what we are having nowadays. Not unless my future husband and I would agree to have it conducted somewhere in…. Europe… Then, it definitely would be a deviation from the typical ones here in the Philippines.
My idea of perfect wedding goes beyond the elegance of the set up and the glamor of the entire entourage. Neither is it measured by the amount of food that the guests would share nor by the number of guests that the reception area could accommodate. It is not in the solemnity of the choir’s singing and of the Wedding March, nor in the teary-eyed parents, friends, close friends and best friends.
The most important element of the perfect wedding is timing. You cannot set the date when to fall in love. But you can properly decide when you are going to settle down with your better half, your lifetime partner.
For couples who are looking forward to their wedding day and to spending the rest of their lives with their beloved ones, it is quite important to think of what might happen in the long run and to ensure that the essential elements are already in their respective places. Marrying is definitely one of the turning points in the life of a person. Whether you are a man or a woman, many things will start to change by the time that you enter the bond of marriage. Some of these changes you would love, but surely, some, also, you would not.
One thing that a married-to-be should remember is that the world does not only revolve around your boyfriend or your girlfriend. When you get married, you’ll feel the earth moving under your feet.
You’ll realize this is more real than having your hymen torn by the person you loved and you realized he is not worth it.
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05.24.07
Posted in Clouds at 4:18 pm by erald17
Has it ever happened to you that you woke up one morning and felt that you are a person different from what you were yesterday? You have lost your old self and the painful changes in your life keep haunting you like a restless ghost… Every single day is a burden. You have no strength to sum up for all of it has been swept away by the bitter memories of yesterday. What has been done cannot be undone. What has happened has happened. You have deep longing to escape fr
om all these shit but you have been caught up by what ever it is that you do not know neither could you explain. It seems like any road you take would lead on to that highway that you want to avoid. Blissful road trip indeed awaits you. You are ecstatic for a few seconds, but at the end of the road, at the end of the day, you would throw up, till your body feels hollow, and you, yourself, feel damn empty.
This is part of life, girl. No one said it’s easy.
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05.15.07
Posted in Journal at 1:22 am by erald17
This is a necessity. I have to post an entry about this. This is how you deal with the thought that keeps boggling your mind.
The book was recommended by Atty. Muria, saying that it is much better than A Walk to Remember and The Notebook. So after saving enough money, I did purchase it - Love Story by Erich Segal.
What can you say about a twenty-five-year-old girl who died?
This was the novel’s introductory line.
It may sound strange but I have a special liking to conversations about death. And I do enjoy reading novels where dying is involved. It’s because the course of life and love is simply it - someone has to die. And another sad reality is that lovers do not die at the same time. Had they died that way, they would not have felt too much pain.
The story of Segal’s novel is the typical dying-young and a-walk-to-remember plot. One had to pass away early. The book’s glory is that it was published many years before Marti Leimbach’ Dying Young (1991) and Nicholas Sparks’s A Walk to Remember (1999). And more credit I would attribute to Segal’s Love Story (1970) because the dialogs are more striking, a few lines yet remarkable. It has a deeper concept, tackled what probably could be the greatest challenge of a relationship. Having provided the most exact answer to this challenge is the edge of the novel.
How people cry over sorrows of losing loved ones and ending precious relationships. But Jen has always said, and she has said it well, "Love is not ever having to say you’re sorry."
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05.12.07
Posted in Clouds at 8:42 am by erald17
Pain is real. You can say it so once you felt it, once you experienced it. I always thought pain is just an illusion for a girl like me. I have been through a lot and I have survived. But some time in your life there would come a point when you would doubt the decisions you have made and feel as if you have placed yourself in hell intentionally.
Just when you thought you were smart enough and that you have been warned, you would eventually find yourself being stupid in front of people and things that sweep you off your feet.
And the phrase that inflicts you most are the words, "I am trying my best to…" yet you just can’t.
Then you are in a dilemma. Will you go or will you turn back? 
Will you hold on or will you let go? You are trying your best to understand and to believe, yet something tells you to doubt and to doubt and to doubt…
It’s like you got your head bumped somewhere and you were living a dream. But you got your head bumped again the next day and taddahh… you are living reality. Or worse, you have to live by the reality.
One day you would find yourself agreeing with ideas unbelievable to you before. For instance, with this one by Albert Camus, "To exist is to live the absurdity of life."
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