05.12.07
stabbing phrase
Pain is real. You can say it so once you felt it, once you experienced it. I always thought pain is just an illusion for a girl like me. I have been through a lot and I have survived. But some time in your life there would come a point when you would doubt the decisions you have made and feel as if you have placed yourself in hell intentionally.
Just when you thought you were smart enough and that you have been warned, you would eventually find yourself being stupid in front of people and things that sweep you off your feet.
And the phrase that inflicts you most are the words, "I am trying my best to…" yet you just can’t.
Then you are in a dilemma. Will you go or will you turn back? 
Will you hold on or will you let go? You are trying your best to understand and to believe, yet something tells you to doubt and to doubt and to doubt…
It’s like you got your head bumped somewhere and you were living a dream. But you got your head bumped again the next day and taddahh… you are living reality. Or worse, you have to live by the reality.
One day you would find yourself agreeing with ideas unbelievable to you before. For instance, with this one by Albert Camus, "To exist is to live the absurdity of life."
