Oblivion

Hey blog, the weekend is over. I’m going again to school tomorrow. Can anyone give me a break? It was not a weekend for me after all. Many things filed up to do. Tomorrow is another start of the race! The weekend is over and my room is still (and will always be) a mess. Papers, papers, papers, papers, and more papers, I tell you. I try all the time to clean up and fix everything, but day after day, more papers are coming.

Oopps, just played Southborder’s Habang Atin ang Gabi. Suddenly missed my prince…

Anyway, yeah, tomorrow is another day. Where am I gonna put all these papers? Reading them all would give me a headache, and heartache. Oh please, when are these papers gonna stop coming? Can you, paper, walk all by yourself and find others of your kind, so I would just come home to get a very good and rejuvenating sleep?

The mere thought of a lengthy bus ride stresses me. Imagine I would have to travel back and forth, home to school and vice versa, for at least 40 minutes each trip, taking with me all these stuff and sometimes also my laptop. And I’m dead alone in my trip. Not to mention having four institutions on my shoulder.

I badly want this semester to end, to have a new class schedule. At first I really thought my schedule for this sem would be very workable. But I was so wrong. I’m arriving home 9pm the earliest.

Anyway, I still believe I’m fortunate because I am learning a lot from all these hardships.

Laugh it out! Because with great looks comes great responsibility. ( Atty. Muria )

Filed by erald17 at 8:33 am under Journal
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Nagtataka lang talaga ako. Bakit parang hindi na ako marunong masaktan? Marami na bang salitang naibato saken at kasalanang nagawa saken kaya wala nang dahilan para masaktan pa ako? O kaya ko lang talagang tanggapin lahat ng sakit na dumarating saken? Hindi ko talaga maintindihan. Epekto lang ba ‘to ng vitamins o totoong aktibidad ito ng aking mentalidad? Ang sakit ay hindi ko matawag na sakit nga kasi parang hanggang ideya lang ito saken. At parang hinahanap ko pa ang ako ay masaktan. Pero wala naman akong maramdaman. Kamanhidan ba ito? O pagkasanay lang ng sarili bunga ng mga sakit na naramdaman ko na noon? O baka naman sa totoo ay ayaw kong masaktan kaya ito nga at hinding hindi ako masaktan? Parang ang weirdo naman ng kwento ko, parang ako pa ang naghahanap ng sakit. Kung sa ibang tao, matutuwa pa sila na hindi sila nasasaktan. Haaaay, kayo na ang bahalang umunawa sa inyong sariling pamamaraan.
Salamat!

Filed by erald17 at 10:17 am under Reflection
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Esmeralda Balita
August 11, 1988 - August 23, 2007

Filed by erald17 at 8:25 am under Reflection
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Rose said, "You know what, people who are blessed with the gift to foretell other’s future are those who worry so much about theirs."
I am beginning to believe it. And it’s a natural phenomenon that I cannot avoid. And I am needing somebody who can take that worry away.
It’s getting into my nerves. And I don’t know what to do. But I just can’t throw the power away. It follows me everywhere.

Filed by erald17 at 12:14 am under Clouds
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I’m missing my bestfriend hershey. A friend is one who never fails to help me and pick me up when I’m down. Schel and I call each other myluvs:) And we consider our tandem Gemini..
Myluvs has told me so many things and I have learned a lot from them. We have been together since fifth grade and we’ve witnessed each other grow up. If there’s one person who can assess the life that I have had for the last eight years, it would be none other than Schel.
Myluvs knows my worth and my weaknesses, and we have learned to understand each other without so much explanation.
While she considers it otherwise, my bestfriend didn’t know that she also has been an influence and an example to me.
She is a person with depth. She finds meaning and beauty in all things around her. There are many things she knows that I do not know. Most of her words strike me in the deepest part of my person. Every time I would feel that my world gets heavier each day, I would always hear the words of myluvs saying, "Sino ba may kasalanan kung bakit ganyan ka, di ba ikaw naman."
Until today, those words bring me a mixture of feelings: regret for having lived my life too much and determination to go on.
I am faced with so many responsibilities today because that is the kind of life that I have chosen years ago. And whether I like it or not, I would have to live by it for the next three years or so.
"There is no turning back." It is one of those principles embedded in my totality. "You’ve said ‘yes’, now you must say, ‘go’."
It makes me more comfortable to go on than to give up.
But the idea scares me. It’s like I’m biting off more than I can chew. Yes, I’m biting off more than I can chew, and I’m chewing it. Even if I get exhausted at the end of the day.
The idea of life preservation doesn’t appeal to me now. Besides, I do not know so well HOW it is to really preserve life, how it is to really live longer.
Whether I do something to preserve my life or I don’t, it just boils down to the same fact that I’m going to die.
It’s just simple. Face it or commit suicide.
The latter is insane.

Filed by erald17 at 11:54 pm under Reflection
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