09.30.07

defamation

Posted in Four Corners at 4:28 am by erald17

Anong ginawa nyo don, nagdebate ba kayo!
Bakit ka pa naman kasi nag-invite alam mo namang may kailangang tapusing exhibit.
Bakit ang hindi?
Kung kailangan nyo ang tulong namin, ano ‘tong sinabi mo?
"Ang panget…." sa harap ng maraming tao.
Unfair naman sa mga nag-absent sa class para gumawa nito.
Bakit, may nagsabi ba sa inyong mag-absent kayo?
Ibig sabihin choice nila ang sumama kahapon?
Oo. Choice nila yon.
Tumulong ba sila? Nagresearch? O naglakwatsa?
Anong sinasabi mong lakwatsa? ang debate?
Mali ang term, lakwatsa…
Nasabi mo na, at yun ang nasa isip mo!
Oo tumulong sila, sa buong panahon na magkakasama kami.
Gusto mo ng ebidensya?
Sige nandun sa abscbn.
Alam mo ba ang plan of activity ng org "natin"?
Kasi hindi umaattend sa activities.
I’m not interested.
Oh, what an answer! Why are you here to start with?
Apology kasi preoccupied ka ng maraming bagay?
Sige tinatanggap ko.
Pero aba nangyari na naman.
Preoccupied ka na naman?
Ako hangga’t kaya ng pasensya ko napapatawad ko,
pero kapag mali na talaga…
Aba…. teka…
Sorry don’t expect high grade from me.
Akala mo ba ikaw lang ang mag-gegrade?
Kahit bigyan mo ako ng zero, sino ang tinakot mo.
Walang personalan?
Yung nga sana ang gusto namin.
Pero tutal sinimulan nyo na naman sa harap ng maraming tao,
eh di sige, you set the rules of the game.
Pero kahit saan daanin,
ang katotohanan ay katotohanan.

09.24.07

speak your mind

Posted in Affiliations at 6:06 pm by erald17

Lately I have been having a hard time driving my frigate… I was pained by solitude, helplessness and determination. Never had I thought that my passengers are heading towards somewhere else. I was and have always been directing towards the very goal. Maybe it was a mistake of mine, or rather I was mistaken by those who have not yet seen and appreciated the clear path. The clear path has never been so easy to travel. Were they shocked by the sudden twists and turns? What else do we have to expect, it is our "nature". I am afraid to draw a conclusion. Mine are just thoughts.

"You might have had something for a long time, but later you’ll realize that it’s not meant for you. You might have to choose to let go."

"Friendship will never be the motivation for one’s "special interest". Interests are personal and friendship can understand."

"The best things in life are not free. Things will never be as easy as you think. Whether you like it or not, they will demand some things from you so you could take the best ones in return."

"Never sacrifice the entirety for the sake of the few. There are more important things that might be needing your special time."

Adios!

09.22.07

entrance

Posted in Womanhood at 3:09 am by erald17

It has been 7 months… Rather, it has actually been a year… And many things are yet to happen. Here I am hurting myself again of the thoughts I am never sure of. From time to time it really comes to me the question of whether this is worth fighting for. From time to time worry and uncertainty come to me. Surely I am not going to end this, for this is something so special and extraordinary, but uncertain I am of how long this is going to last… He would tell me to stop thinking about it but I cannot help doing so… for he never told me the words I have been longing to hear.

09.18.07

tongue tied

Posted in Reflection at 11:08 am by erald17

"Guys gudpm, enjoy life ha.. too much of something is bad…"
Sometimes I really think that I’m such a stupid person. I utter so many things yet I know I am so innocent about life. When I try to reflect, I can assess that my life has gone from bad to worse.

At the moment I still do not know what is important to me, and what is pathetic is that why the hell am I trying so hard to know what it is or rather what "should" be important to me.

I do admit it is hard to pretend and to utter words that I cannot withstand. Carry on: words that have failed to push me forward. I know now, life is a complexity. And I do not know the right formula to live it well.

How much I would want to recollect but schedule does not permit me. If I could live life for the second time, I wish schedule would not exist. It kills the element of surprise. And spoils life’s thrills.

Powerless I am compared to life. At the moment, I am thinking that if I could create life itself, I would phase out a few things: competitions, schedules, minutes and formal schooling. These four things have caused the misery of the world…

09.16.07

What I Have Lived For

Posted in Published at 2:57 am by erald17

Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and the unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. Three passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither in a wayward course, over a deep ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.

I have sought love first because it brings ecstasy - ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of my life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness - that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it, finally, because in the union of love, I have seen - in a mystic miniature - the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might have seen too good for the human life, this is what - at last - I have found.

With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine… A little of this, but not too much, I have achieved.

Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward towards the heavens. But always, pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine,  victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people - a hated burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, and I, too, suffer.

This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and I would gladly live it again, if the chances are offered to me.

Bertrand Russel

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