Oblivion

I will try to divide and consolidate the topics in the best way that I
possibly can. By the way, it has been quite a while since I last wrote a really
serious blog entry. I missed this. This time I am writing something so serious
about my one and only, my loved one and my future. I am writing this article
with respect and with all honestly to my OAO. He is the kind who deserves both
– respect and honesty.

As much as possible, I do not want to dwell too much on the future
plans, especially on matters about engagement and wedding. I feel that I am too young to consider those things, not as early as now. However, there are times when my OAO mentions things about it, unknowingly sending me signals on how determined he is in making a way to many possibilities that could happen between the two of us, many possibilities that could take place in the course of this “commitment” which would eventually lead to the holy altar, as I just teased.

On denial…

Yes perhaps it was due to some heartache I have experienced in
the past, which brought back all the fears I once lost. Thing which made me
look onto the future with blurry eyes, with some sort of realizations that the
person I am with right may not be the same person I would be spending my future with. Thing which made me hold on to the present too tightly because at some point in time, “our future” would be non-existent at all. It happened once, and it can happen again. I am in denial. Because I try to dismiss the idea that has a touch of reality in it. I am in denial because I set aside the possibility
that the person who is addicted to me right now could be just an ordinary stranger months or years away from now. All others are too many to mention.

On the other hand…

On assurance…

This will somehow be a leakage of what I was supposed to confess to my OAO few weeks ago. On the night of July 12th, it was one moment in time when I felt that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with that man who was with me that unforgettable night. The other is when my OAO teased that if it were just that easy, we get married right now. He has no idea how much that simple statement could send a woman’s heart pounding for joy. The same is true when he came asking, “Can I have you for the rest of my life?” These are things others might consider as just of those pleasantries and romanticisms that would eventually have their respective downfalls. But knowing that it came from a sensible man gave me an air of assurance that this could be it.

I thought assurance is a word that is true only for women. I did not know that men also have it in their vocabulary. I never thought that both of us would have something called sort of an assurance.

Another thing, I hope he knows that in every relationship a truly good woman enters into, there is always the silent hope saying, “I hope that the man I am with right now is the same person I would be spending the rest of my life with.” No doubts.

Filed by erald17 at 6:12 am under Womanhood
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Struggle. Struggle. Struggle. Matatapos din ang lahat…
For now, I should be happy for being where I am. Although there are struggles everyday, things seem to run smoothly… Considering the kind of family and relationship that I have.
Besides, I am even luckier. My family is very supportive of all my dreams, aspirations and goals in life. I got used to it. They used to dream for me, but at the end of the day, it is always what I wanted that happens; they are there to back me up.
Not to set aside the people who trust in me, who believe in what I can do, and who respect the goodness in me.
I am also lucky to have my OAO, someone who truly takes care of me, and ensures my safety and happiness. Very loyal. Very religious in attending to my needs as a woman and as a person.
There are times when I rather become speechless, knowing and feeling how much he loves me. I never thought I would still find someone who would love me that way; but fate proved me wrong.

I love him, too. There is no way can’t I.

Filed by erald17 at 8:09 pm under Reflection
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I missed blogging! Because I cannot connect to the internet when I am at my dormitory.
So what is going on with me now?
THESIS! Do you know what a Theeeesis is? Whew!
Anyway..just an update on the latest events in my life…
Last week, that’s July 12 to be exact, my OAO and I went out to a beach.
Perfect moment that is! I can’t forget him saying, "Ang sarap ng ganito, walang iniisip…" We just spent the night away, walking along the beach, talking about anything. It was just the two of us in the middle of the night. We were awake till 12 midnight, then went to sleep till 4am. At 4am we went out again for a walk on the white sand, took some pictures and eventually dived into the sea. That was definitely a moment just for the two of us. And a bonus boating on our way home.
WE NEVER WANT TO FORGET THOSE MOMENTS WE SPENT TOGETHER. NEVER.

P.S. This is just an update. Everything that happened then is always better than what has been told.

Filed by erald17 at 7:36 pm under Journal
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I am missing my blog;
I am missing Stardust. I am supposed to be typing this down on my blog, dated
June 23, 2008 at 2300. But right now I am not connected to the internet. Two
hours ago my boyfriend called. We miss each other so much. We think of each other
despite our busy schedule. Needless to say, we are both inspired.

We always look
forward to the next time that we would see each other again; we keep in touch,
we stay connected.

Our thoughts
communicate; our hearts never separate. Our voices linger; our touch remains.

Wherever he is right
now, and wherever he will be, my prayers are always with him.

He may be far from me
now, may be even farther later, and time is out of hold, but I want him to know
that I am just here, always and will keep on waiting for every moment he would
come home.

I’m yours…

I love you.

Filed by erald17 at 8:06 am under Womanhood
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I do not know how to start my life all over again, after what had happened to my health, after discovering the illnesses that had stricken me.
I honestly do not know how to start a life again. All I have is the hope that someday, things would all go back to normal. Imagine I can no longer do many things I used to do; things had to end at the wrong time; all these happened unanticipatedly.
I exactly do not know how to treat my health, because it seems that everything I do is not doing any good. I do not know.
Oh God, I am only nineteen years old, turning twenty in a month, and I still have a lot of plans and goals. Why do I have to experience this?
My life is starting to revolutionize; and I cannot bear with it not yet.

Filed by erald17 at 10:09 pm under Clouds
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