10.28.08

Signals

Posted in Womanhood at 6:51 pm by erald17

Sunday. October 26 2008. I was lying down with my boyfriend after hearing the mass that morning. Everything was so fine between us and both of us are happy. No doubt about that. Then suddenly my boyfriend started to talk about future plans. I just asked, “Iniisip mo na talaga ‘yon.” Then he answered, “Hindi naman… syempre present pa din.” I knew that his answer came from somewhere else; it came from me. Because he knew that I would rather think more of the present than of the future. But no. Yes my oao I think about the future. Our future. It is just that I am partly reserved because I am afraid that everything we have planned would not happen. I just need an assurance that we would really work on it. I don’t know… Just tell me to, just ask me to. And I would do it with all my heart.

Oh I am so afraid that we would not be able to make it in the next six years. But I have faith that if we would decide to do it then definitely we could. I love you my oao and I pray to God that it is you. If it is not you, then I pray to God to make it you! =)

What transpired today

Posted in Clouds, Journal at 6:33 pm by erald17

Today is one day off the work - but not really. Yet it is fine. Quote for the day: “It lets you see the world and it lets the world see you.” Answer: Internet.

So then I spent my day surfing the net, opening my email subscriptions and getting some sort of benefit upon reading articles made by people around the world. I was able to browse articles from Belief Net and of course Blogger Group wherein I discovered another Mau by the pen name of VN. I read his blog and got so fascinated by all his ideas. Better ones. Kind that somehow inspired me and made me feel better about the world. Kind that made me laugh at my seat as I realize trivia on life that actually make the world go round.

So I am starting to realize that even though life comes to worst, there are still a lot of things that we can do and that can make us go on with our lives. That even though every second feels like hell, life still has small surprises and presents.

Take for example my next blog…

I must write

Posted in Journal at 6:14 pm by erald17

It has been a long while since I last wrote an entry. Nagtatampo na ata ang Blog at parang unti-unti na akong nagsasawa. Pero hindi. Pansamantala lamang naibaling ko ang aking attention sa ibang kapaki-pakinabang na bagay. Actually kaninang umaga pa ako nag-iisip ng topic na pwedeng isulat pero wala naman talaga ako maisipan. Ewan ko ba. Eh di sige eto bumubwelo. Baka maya-maya mapapaisip na rin kung ano ba ang kanais-nais isulat. Well wala naman masyadong kakaibang nangyari sa life ko for the past few weeks or days. Ganun pa din naman ang ikot ng mundo. Pinipilit ko lang ituring na iba o gawan ng kwento. Ganun pa din okay lang. Minsan nakakaboring pa din! Haha! Well sana maya-maya lang may maisulat na ako na something new. Kasi naman parang naisulat ko na ata lahat ng pwedeng topic. Nangyayari din pala yung nauubusan din ako. Finally. Talaga lang. Lately wala akong masyadong maisip na sensible na topic. Hmm…..

Anything that would give meaning or spice to my life or to others….

10.21.08

Blurry

Posted in Clouds at 9:27 pm by erald17

Why am I suffering? That is the big question. I am no longer the person that I used to be. Totally destructed. Entirely damaged. Crushed. Devastated. Vindicated. Torn. Wrecked. Shattered. Ruined. It is so ironic how that person on top is the one losing hope already. Losing track. Finding light.

10.13.08

Letter to my Soldier

Posted in Womanhood at 11:04 pm by erald17

I love you. I know I do, because even though circumstances try to test us, I keep on loving you. Even though I cannot always be with you every time I want to, I stand patient and understanding. Because your duty comes above me. I withstand the situation because I love you. You support me in every way you can, but I must learn to be on my own as well, for a Kaydet Girl should be as independent as her soldier. And should continue to love amidst all the tests.

I take all these because I love you. And nothing shall make me give up. For I have learned to love you, whether near or far.

I love you my stardust…

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